dont-argue-with-your-serperior:

im that one friend that doesnt date anyone and doesnt really go to parties or have a life really but when im over at your house ill eat all your food and for exchange i shall tell you bad puns

(via estegrimshaw)

chekhov:

In health class we were given sheets of paper and told to write a message we would want someone of the opposite sex to know

She read some examples

The girls were like: “Hey can you please not treat me like shit”

The boys were like: “Spray tans look ugly I hate when girls wear too much makeup and don’t lead me on.”

(via theironyofchokingonadick)

pizza:

how many times is it appropriate to say ‘what’ before you nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said

(via liampayns)

they-call-me-wonder-woman:

h0odrich:

It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth

This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.

(via petewanks)

conor-cymex:

mydogsnokes:

i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days

diamond

the word you’re looking for is diamond

(via wolverhustler)

donttouchmynewtonballs:

when you’re in a really bad mood and someone tries to cheer you up

(Source: donttouchmynewtonballs.tumblr.cm, via petewanks)

markhumpus:

I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET NICE TATTOOS AND TRAVEL AND GO TO LOADS OF CONCERTS AND MEET NEW PEOPLE AND VISIT AMAZING PLACES AND COSY COFFEE SHOPS AND ADOPT CUTE PUPPIES AND SLEEP IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK WITH A PLETHORA OF BLANKETS AND STAR GAZE AND TAKE PICTURES OF NICE THINGS AND JUST NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING 

(via theflavourofyourlips)